Have we ever struggled to make a decision or enter into a commitment because we didn’t trust our ability to make the right choice? How many times have we gotten a feeling in the pit of our stomach that something was not right? Did we pay attention to our intuition or did we ignore it? Deep in our core, we know what is best for us. So why don’t we trust that?
Some of us were taught as a child that we can’t trust ourselves. Maybe we weren’t able to trust our loved ones or our loved ones were unable to trust us. Sometimes life experiences shatter our trust in ourselves. Perhaps we recall an event in which we trusted ourselves and the outcome was disastrous and painful. The inability to trust ourselves stems from not knowing who we are and what’s important to us. Other times, we know what is right for us we fail to honour that because of fear, external pressure, or a belief that we are not worthy.
Sometimes we do make decisions that don’t turn out as planned. Sometimes, the red flags are there, and we ignore them. Other times, we truly make the best decision we can. Ask any successful entrepreneur about her process of decision making. She will probably tell us she weighed all the pros and cons and tried to anticipate any problems. She might have looked to the experts for helpful insight. In the end, she made the most informed decision she could. If we ask her if all her decisions were the right ones, she will tell us no. Life changes; people change. Just because something doesn’t work out the way we wanted does not mean we cannot trust ourself in the future.
Trusting ourselves is essential to loving ourselves. We know ourselves better than anyone and no one is going to take care of us except us. Until we trust ourselves, we will not be able to fully trust anyone. When we don’t trust ourselves, we will seek guidance from everyone else. Our life will be outer-focused, and people will make decisions about our life for us.
Make our personal decisions based on what’s most important to us and what works best for us. We may ask other people’s opinions as long as we are willing to pay most attention to our feelings. If we are unsure of ourselves, take the time to really listen to our gut. If we have a relationship with a Higher Power, spend time in prayer or meditation and ask that the truth be revealed to us.
During my Spiritual Coaching training, we were taught to listen to our intuition. A lot of us questioned how we know if we’re right? In other words, how do we know for sure if we can trust ourselves? We don’t know for sure unless we test it out. We were instructed as Spiritual Coaches to blurt out what our intuition was telling us, and then wait to see how the client responds. The more we test our intuition and discover that it’s telling the truth, the more we begin to trust ourselves.
So try some experiments. The next time we feel confused about a decision, pay attention to our gut-level reaction. Don’t rationalize or talk ourselves out of our feelings. Go with it and see how it turns out. We may even make a list of times we trust our intuition and things go well. The more we practice trusting ourselves, the easier it will become. If we trust ourselves and find out later it was a mistake, learn from it and move on. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s better to trust ourselves and be wrong than to not trust ourselves at all.